Ok. The starter solenoid is a relay. When one side is energized it closes the other side to pass the voltage/current through the wire. In this case down to the starter. What your third little wire going in to your connector is I'm not sure.
1. Green is ground. Check
2. Red/Yellow is what tells that relay to close as you mention above. Check
3. Red battery voltage to your relay would effectively shut your relay constantly and your starter motor would never stop trying to turn over until your battery juice was effectively depleted or the something burned up. That doesn't sound like what you are describing. Correct me if I misunderstood you.
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